That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
