i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Less talking, more tequila
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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