3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
