matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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