Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
