Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
