Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
