yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
