i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
