Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
