Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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