dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
