Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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