I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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