We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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