they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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