someone get that fucking seahorse.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
