oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
