Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
