we were pretty classy up until the second keg
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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