you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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