i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
