Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
