Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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