It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
