she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
