Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
