We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
