Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
