it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
