in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
