Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
