What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
50% drunk capacity currently
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
