Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
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