I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It's blow job season.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
