Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
