There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
