is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
