I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
