i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
