I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
