I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
