Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
