Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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