I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
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