Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
two words: eviction party
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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