i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
