are you still at the devil's house?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
