I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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