Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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